Today's The Day
by dakotalilys
Summary: Franky Fitzgerald's story, before Bristol.
1. Chapter 1

Today's the day

Her alarm went off buzzing three times before her hand slapped it down. She sat up swallowing the giant lump in her throat; it was going to happen. It had to. All the shit she went through was becoming too much for one person to handle. She looked down at her hands, which still had fresh cuts from the day before. _Another breath you can do this. _Inhale. Exhale. She stood up planting her feet on the wood floor and headed to the mirror. Bruises hidden around her face, like always. Just below the catch of her chin or right near the back of her jaw. Her anxiety rose, _punch it. _She urged to shatter the mirror in front of her, _what's wrong with me! _Her head was going in loops again and she picked up her phone to dial, _who else to call but you. _She hit the numbed and a voice sounded at the other end.

"_What's wrong? Did something happen?" _his voice was filled with worry. Too much worry.

"_I'm going to do it. I have to." _She could barely breathe, _am I going to do it?_

"_You know you can get in serious trouble..." _always the word of the wise.

"_I know. But I'm doing it…" _she paused not saying anything until they were just breathing, _"I promise I won't get hurt." _

"_That's my girl." _She clicked the line off and threw her phone on the bed.

It _was _her time and she turned back to the mirror, chopped hair and dark eyes.

"_Let's go." _Her heart dropped hearing her own voice through the silent room.

She walked over to her bag under the bed then pulled out the one thing she had left. That one thing that could solve everything. Make those people, _that_ girl go away. The silver pistol; now _her_ silver pistol. That redrill replica that did more than just harm. She drifted her hand down to her left thigh where she was hit by a bullet. It still stung, but the pain was just a memory now. She traced her fingers down the metal and blinked making it all real. The gun was shoved into her jacket pocket and she was off. Her feet hit each step down the stairs; _no turning back now. _Her hand shook as she opened the door and she paused, looking back up the stairs. _You can still turn back. _She shook her head and carried on outside, down the sidewalk.

_Freak. Lezzer. Fuck tard. Spacko. Lameo. Shit magenet. _Each word made her walk faster and faster towards her destination. Her heart was beating faster than she needed it to, remaining calm was the least of her worries though. Breathing wasn't second nature anymore. _Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. _She was getting closer and closer and her hands were pools of sweat. Then, there it was. That off green door that made her want to vomit. _You can still turn back. _She shook her head; _this is it. _

She walked up the stairs slowly, each step making her regret she ever came here. That voice in her head panicking and telling her to go back was screaming at the top of its lungs. _Go. Go home. Run home! _She clenched her fists and her nails dug into her palms, making the voice die down for that moment. Her finger rose up to the doorbell and pushed it down. Heart pounding, sweat dripping, and pain pouring; _this is fucking it. _The door slid open, like slow motion and there she was. That face. That disgusting face that tortured her daily for no reason. _You're a freak and you'll always be a freak. _Her eyes shuttered and her heart stopped. Everything around her stopped in that very moment, because she _knew_ she could just run away and forget this ever happened. _No. No fucking way. _She pushed her hand into her pocket when the door finally opened all the way. The gun gripped in her hand and fit ever so perfectly. _You're making a mistake. Turn around. Run. Run far. _It slid out slowly and in seconds was pushed against her head. _"Bye." _

Crack.

She shot up from bed shaking and drenched in sweat. Her hands ran through her hair while her breathing slowly steadied and her alarm clock sounded three times before she hit the button. Her heart was still going haywire. She shifted out of her bed and placed her feet on the wooden floor. No thoughts went through her mind as she walked over to the mirror. Her face was filmed with a little sweat but she still looked the same. Bruises in spots that couldn't be seen, fear prominent in her eyes, and a heart that wouldn't stop racing. She turned around and went to the bag under her bed to find the same pistol. Not her pistol, _not anymore. _She picked her phone up and dialed a number, the only one she could.

"_Dean..._ _I can't do it." _


	2. Chapter 2

Today's The Day – Make the Pain Go Away

She walked back and fourth pacing for hours, her mind was racing faster than she had ever thought could happen. She went back and fourth, to be or not to be. Franky bit down on her bottom lip harder than usual, just so she could make sure this was real. The inside of her mouth was chewed up and raw, exactly like how she felt inside. Her demons were coming back for her and ripping her limb from limb.

_You're a useless fucking coward. You'll never amount to anything. Just like they said before... Freak. You will always be a fucking freak. _

She was staring at her wall and beginning to breathe heavier and harder. Franky rubbed her face and felt the tinted sweat the lined her brow. _You should just do it. _She ran her fingers through her newly trimmed hair and tugged on the back, nearly ripping strands off. She slid her shoes off and let the cold wood floor soak in; _breathe. _Franky closed her eyes and took a deep breath but nothing was working. Her heart was worse than the jackhammer sounding down the street. Franky felt sweat dripping down her back and she shed another layer, leaving herself in just a tank top and shorts.

_Check it. Go check it again. See how much they fucking hate you._

That voice in her head was driving her insane. More insane than usual, which was making her at high risk for reaching into the unknown. She went in her drawer and pulled out four white oval pills, ones she stole from Geoff. Painkillers. Twice the dosage of what she would even take, but that was just one pill. Now here in her tiny cold pale hand, were four of them. Any moment she could swallow them down and no one would notice. _No one would fucking care. _Franky stared at them and her eyes flickered back towards the mirror.

_Look at yourself. There's something wrong with you. There will always be something wrong with you. Just wait. Just wait and see. _

Her stomach twisted and her breathing turned into shaky inhales that did nothing to prepare her for what was happening. She grabbed at her head and clung to the short hair that lay on top of her head.

"_Stop it! Stop it! Go away! Fucking go away!" _she screamed at the top of her lungs but nothing was helping.

Hot tears streamed down her face and she could taste the salted remains of her complete mental breakdown. She walked over holding her moth and wiping her eyes, before taking the four white oval pills and placing them all on her tongue at once. They tasted like dull milk powder with a stinging after taste she couldn't even describe. It made her cringe, gag, and nearly wanted to vomit with the anxiety that was building inside her. She flipped her phone open and looked down at the thirty plus messages, all saying the same thing.

Franky was strong, but not anymore. Now, the demons had taken her over and made her skin crawl. She felt heavier and tried to keep her eyes open but the numbing pins and needles radiated around her body, making her sway and nearly topple to the floor.

_Why did you do this? I thought you were stronger than that? Call for help. Anyone. Help._

Her brain went fuzzy and her mind stopped working. She sat on her bed breathing shallow until she had to remember to take in each individual breath of air. It was taking longer than she wanted and making her more paranoid and terrified. Like in the last few moments her life was flashing before her eyes. Not her whole life, just the small bits she wanted to remember before this all ended. Meeting Dean at the care home ages ago was the fondest of memories. They were special, until he was taken away to young offenders, _all your fault._

She swallowed again and her throat went dry before completely collapsing so she could only take in thin air. Franky fell back on her bed fighting to keep her eyes open, fighting to keep her lungs working, but it all went black in the slip of a second.


	3. Chapter 3

Today's The Day - Relocation

"_You ready to go?" _Jeff's voice was soft, but still made chills run up her spine when he spoke to her.

Franky turned around and nodded, keeping her eyes on the floor and her jaw clenched tight. She went through her drawers and collected the remaining items of what was hers and shoved them roughly in her duffle bag. It wasn't what she expected to happen at all; _hell_ she was supposed to be dead. But of course, like a work of magic her fathers had come home to find her blue faced on her bed. Jeff left the room staggering slowly before he turned and walked down the flights of stairs. With every loud thud, she felt her heart beat in sync and her lungs fill with air. She looked down at the stained blood on her pillow from that very night and closed her eyes remembering it all.

The coughing was the worst of it, gagging for air like it was never going to come. Breathing wasn't second nature anymore and her voice didn't work. Like a flash, sweat dripped down her forehead and her body twitched and twirled until she laid face down in a pool of blood seeping from her lungs. There was vomit, a lot of it actually, but she had blacked out before it even had happened. Franky was a little glad she didn't get to see the look on her fathers face's of the sight of their newly taken in daughter. She felt like a complete failure, tortured into this _stupid_ world she didn't want to be in. She felt worse than a failure, if there could be anything worse. Franky would've taken a ditch in the ground to lay down and die in than feel what she felt at this very moment.

Her father's expected a perfect daughter, but unfortunately they were stuck with her. _A stupid piece of shit that could not even get death right. _They told her they loved her, but it was through scared black eyes that made no sense to her.

_Why would they just lie like that? Why won't they just send me back? Why would anyone want a daughter like me?_

She stuffed the last of her clothes in her bag and sat on her bed staring down at her hands. The same hands that made her take those pills and make this new arrangement happen. The same hands that were tied up daily and couldn't fight back. The _same_ fucking hands that couldn't take out a cunt of a girl that was ruining her life. Franky went under her bed and found her re-drill replica still sitting in the bottom of the small satin bag. Franky pulled it out, examined it until she heard the clunking of footsteps coming straight for her room. _Thank god there's three floors. _She wrapped it up in a shirt and shoved it down into a small-unnoticed pocket down in the deep parts of her duffle.

"_We're waiting Franky. They said to be there by noon, it's nearly half past." _Jeff was back again not looking directly at Franky.

She looked at his pain filled face and shot her head around back towards her bag. Franky picked it up and pulled it over her shoulder, before making her way past him. Her dads couldn't even look at her anymore like they used to, like she had stripped all notions of happiness from their lives. Franky didn't expect it to be this way, but she knew from the moment they brought her home it wouldn't be easy. Just like she thought, they got scared but she knew she was a damn scary person. Everyone feared her, like there was this red bar on her face that told everyone she was tainted blood. They treated her like she was an insane creature that was released from a metical testing facility. Franky was starting to believe it. She walked down the stairs and turned to see Jeff looking straight at her, but avoided her eyes just like everyone had been doing lately.

"_Come on now, Geoff's in the car." _His voice was shaky, but she didn't expect anymore out of him.

She shook her head and moved down the stairs quicker, debating on dropping her duffle and sprinting out in the world. Franky could run, she could run as far as she wanted. But it would get her absolutely nowhere and back in the same position as before. Being labeled as a tainted object and now with a suicide attempt, she was a goner. Word got out quickly and her dads took her phone and computer away, and even sharp objects or anything. They even took her fucking shoelaces.

Franky walked outside and felt the afternoon summer sun beating down on her face; _last you'll ever feel that. _Like slow motion, she made her way to the car watching and memorizing every little detail of the front yard before stepping into the back. Two doors slammed and the engine revved quickly, Geoff driving and not even glancing at Franky. She sat in the back leaning on her tightly packed duffle and held back her tears; she felt she didn't deserve to cry. Not the least bit. She chewed the inside of her mouth until it went raw and pained with every movement, so she didn't have to talk anymore.

The car stopped and the faint hissing from the radio shut off. She was there. They were there and all she wanted to do again was bolt out of the car and never turn back. Franky knew why they were doing this to her, it was obvious after finding her in that position just a week ago. The door opened and her seatbelt unbuckled, Jeff's hand guided her out of the car and pulled her bag out behind her. The building was tall, bricked, and had a rather large black gated fence. She wiped her saddened eyes before her dads could even see, maybe they should've seen. Maybe they would've changed their minds. Jeff was straight ahead walking inside with her bag, just to be greeted in the distance by a rather older woman with more people in white coats surrounding her. Geoff stepped in front of her view and bent down so he was at eye level with her.

"_We're not giving up on you. Even if this is what is seems like. I-It'll be a hard road Franky… but this is our only option for… right now." _He looked into her brown glassy eyes and pulled himself away.

She could swear she saw a small tear forming in his eye, which made her stomach turn and feel even worse. He put his hand on Franky's shoulder and guided her though the black fence until they reached the door. They didn't' even hug her goodbye or even wish her good luck. They just left her there. No words, no smiles, no open arms like they used to be. Franky hung her head low and held her breath as the women in white coats took her duffle and led her inside.

This was how it should've been in the first place; only she knew it the whole time. Ever since she was born this rotting creature inside of her was ready to spring out and attack, she just needed to wait for the right time. Franky was alone in a mental institution with no contact to the outside world, her fathers, or even her lost best mate Dean. She felt hopeless and knew she would only hate herself more as the weeks started to count on.


	4. Chapter 4

"_Now open wide and say 'Ah', stick your tongue out. Good." _The nurse swabbed the back of her throat and grinned before putting the q-tip into a tube.

Franky had been poked and prodded for a decent hour. Nothing good was coming of this, nothing at all. So why was she there? What was the point? She knew she wasn't sick. Did they magically thing they would find a disease in her from this check up?

"_You're in good health, maybe a little tired it seems. Low iron."_ The nurse tapped her pen on her clipboard when she spoke, which annoyed Franky even more.

It was only driving her more insane at the moment. The nurse left the room and Franky looked down at the white on white jumper and sweats they made all the patients their dress in. Some handed down from others, luckily hers was brand new. No more hand-me-downs this time. She looked around the white walls of the small-enclosed space and subconsciously played with her hands out of habit. Would her dads even come back? Most likely not. She was convinced they abandoned her, just like everyone else in the world. Dean was gone now, but Franky kept on to that small glimmer of hope that one day he'd come find her.

That was the thing though. Hope? What did it even mean? Franky knew to not trust that small light at the tunnel anymore. No silver linings here. No more chances. She knew her place in society now and part of her new identity at this moment was being a mental patient: a person that is labeled as depressed, dangerous, and harmful to themselves or others. _"Fuck this."_ Franky jumped off the examination table and opened the door to scan the halls. Nurses were around the hospital wing and she needed a plan. Being invisible was easier than most people believed; she had done it her whole life. Franky closed the door behind her and took light steps in her new plain white Keds. It still made her tense up knowing they took her shoelaces for safety. The nurses were busy yammering away about patients and didn't have the slightest idea that brand new mental patient Franky Fitzgerald had just escaped the hospital wing.

She wandered down the halls looking up at the flickering lights and slowly examining each bolted door as if a yeti was locked away in there. Some rooms just had doors, some rooms didn't have a door at all, but most were little locked heavier wooden ones that had a slot on them. From the looks of it, she thought she was actually in a zoo. Her stomach didn't settle in the slightest after she turned the corner and was met face to face with a man towering over her.

"_What are you doing? Why are you here? Who took my things! Where are my things!"_ His hands gripped her jumper collar and she tried to push away but her back met the wall with a hard slam.

The man's face was older and she could see the definitions in his skin that made her cringe. His breath was hot and even his grip on her wasn't that strong. He moved closer to her face and it just made her even angrier. Franky's eyes flickered and twitched as he kept yelling straight in her face about his precious items, which she hadn't the slightest clue as to what the fuck he was talking about.

"_You took them! You took all my things!"_ Franky slipped loose and sprinted away from him down the flickered hall once again. She slammed fully into a nurse's side and they caught her by the arm.

"_There you are! We've been on the hunt for you. Escape artist aren't you?"_ He tugged her arm back to the hospital wing and they spent another hour with more psychoanalysis bullshit she didn't want to deal with.

"_Since you're relatively new, we're just going to leave the punishment out of this one. Remember, we're always watching and we do take authority here."_ She nodded and they led her towards her new room.

She was lucky to be a newcomer, not so lucky to have a roommate that scared her half to death. This girl was blonde, had curled hair, and eyes that could pierce through your soul. Franky tried to keep quiet but once she got in the room she was greeted with a fake smile, a fake hug, and a fake wave away from the nurse. She had seen this all before in foster care. Suck up to the nurse, than you can do whatever you please. Franky sat on the bed staring at her duffle in the corner, just to feel a weight shift next to her.

"_Sam. And you are?"_ She raised her eyebrows so high; Franky thought they were about to float away.

"_Franky…"_ She mumbled and turned away to make a clear distance between them. She wasn't looking to make friends.

"_Lighten up, Jesus it's like pullin' teeth with new roommates."_ The girl scoffed and hopped back on her bed.

Franky sat still blank faced at the wall, until she felt a stinging at her fingertips. She tore through her nails subconsciously and even the skin around was ripped and mangled. The room ticked from the clock on the wall and an occasional page turn from a magazine Sam was reading as well. The silence was unbearable, but what was worse? She knew she would be here for an indefinite amount of time. She leaned to her side and fell onto the bed with a thump, huddling her knees up to her chest to create her own little shell. _They're not coming back. They're never coming back for you. Gone once again._ She sniffed and was greeted with a tissue box being tossed at the back of her head.

"_If you're gonna start cryin' I'll just leave the room… sappy bullshit..." _Franky heard the scrape of her shoes on the tile and the door slam a few seconds later.

She sat up and held the tissue box in her hand digging her nails in the side. Her breathing picked up into harsh breaths and tight swallows, until she screamed loud enough to make her ears ring. Franky thrashed the box to the wall and stood up clawing at the back of her neck out of her high anxiety.

"_What do I do! What the fuck did I do?" _She kicked the wall continuously before her foot throbbed, making her fall to the ground in the corner.

She slid down the wall and huddled up into a ball, head on her knees and breathing heavily. Franky knew she was a fuck up. She knew since day one. Her parents knew, her dads knew, and Dean even knew. They might as well tattoo it on her forehead. She rocked back and forth to herself sniffing and gripping the back of her newly trimmed hair and drowned her thoughts to the back of her mind. _Useless shit you are. _


End file.
